He usually looked so calmed and relaxed, I wondered sometimes if he ever got angry or nervous about something.
One day I heard he was going through a severe legal problem involving a money issue with his relatives. When I went to visit him he looked as usual, calmed and relaxed, despite the problems he was facing going to courts and having to deal with attorneys all the time.
At first I didn’t dare to ask him how he was feeling, since his attitude was clear enough as to see he was doing quite well.
But after a while I decided I really wanted to know how he was able to manage his feelings the way he did. So I asked him directly how was he able to look so calmed (yes, I know I am so timid sometimes).
He looked at me with an amused grin on his face and told me that he had learn long time ago that there is no point in getting anxious. He made a long pause while looking outside the window and then he said: “If what you are worrying for has a solution, then why worry about it? And if that problem has no solution, why worry about it?”
I looked at him in silence expecting to hear something else but, he remained silent for a long while. I understood he had nothing else to add to that famous quote.
I left his house trying to understand how “effective” that attitude could be. If you want to achieve something sometimes you need to fight for it. But on the other side, there are times when you have done everything you can and/or know, and all you have to do is wait for the results.
If there is nothing else you can do about it, then yes, it is much better wait with a relaxed mind than shredding your liver with worry. The results will be the same plus your damaged health.
He was right after all, but our constant obsession with “control” keeps us altered and stressed all the time.
We need to feel we have everything under control and when something is not depending on us, we feel scared and alone. And in the end, we find out that nothing is under control really.
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