Just two letters, one word. Simple, small and so frightening for so many.
Avoiding the use this little word has brought more problems, misunderstandings, sadness and regrets than you can imagine.
Maybe we feel guilty when we say it? Maybe we feel we are being rude to the other person? Maybe we feel obliged to avoid it? Who knows but despite its size and simplicity, it is one of the hardest words to say for many people around the world.
Maybe we were educated to see that little word as “harsh”? Are we afraid to offend the other party? Disappoint them?
But what happens with us when we say yes and our inner voice is shouting desperately: “Please say NO!”?
Immediately we feel overwhelmed and frustrated, resentful and mad with ourselves. But, it is too late, we have already accepted… really?
When you say yes, meaning saying no, you are not really being nice to the other person, most times you won´t fulfil your promise or do the thing you just accepted the right way. Why not? Because you inner self is telling you not to do it, you will end up doing it in a lousy way, in a hurry and feeling we have let ourselves down once more.
Yes I have been there, you have been there, we all have been there at least once in our lives and we know that feeling well. Then why don´t we do something about it?
So you don´t want to sound too rude by simply saying NO? Ok I understand that, then try using a more “polite” way to say no, for example:
- I would love too, but unfortunately I don´t have the time right now.
- I do not want to say yes and then let you down
- It is not possible right now, maybe some other time.
- Not this time, maybe next year.
- My agenda is full right now, etc.
There are several ways to say no without sounding too “inconsiderate”. Even saying “Sorry I cannot say yes this time” could work.
That depends on your personality and the way you interact with the people you know, so I´ll let you find the best way for you to say it.
But please try to remember now those times when you said yes meaning to say no, and how bad you felt afterwards. How disappointing that was for you, how stressful things were and how the other people didn´t even thank you for making the effort to comply with their wishes.
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