She was a sweet and lovely girl. She grew up in a traditional family and her childhood was a happy one.
As she grew up people and events turn her down and she became resentful and “tougher”. She began talking like her male friends and changed her stylish wardrobe for a more masculine looking. Even her movements and vocabulary became more aggressive and rough.
Finally one day I dared to ask her why she decided to make those changes in her personality, since she was such a nice young lady and now she was rougher than some gang members I know.
She told me she had to play a different role. She was alone with her two children in a world made for men by men and where women had no safe place to be. So she decided she wouldn´t let anybody walk upon her, she would be the one stepping on other people´s heads.
I told her that I understood her reasons, but that she was losing her true self and that would be more painful and difficult to recover in the future.
I introduced her to a friend who has been on her own most of her life as well. She has got two children who are now successful grownups and who are really proud of her and following her steps. She helped my friend to return to her “real” self, not the one she had become in order to just “survive” and I am happy to say that now she is feeling much happier and more accomplished.
I understand that sometimes you need to hide or adapt your “real you” in order to feel safer, to fit in the society you are living in but, when you allow the world steal from you your true essence, then things will be much more complicated for you than you can imagine.
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