One of the most difficult things I have tried to get over with is that feeling of not doing enough to make this a better world for me and others.
Sometimes I feel so useless and powerless while trying to find a better way to do things. I wish there was an “app” in my mind to help me find the best and fastest way to accomplish those long awaited and unfulfilled dreams in my heart.
But I guess sometimes Life has a way to “help” you learn things faster and that is by giving you experiences where you can apply those things you have been reading and learning about through many different sources. But when times comes for you to “utilise” the tools you have received throughout your life, is when real “knowledge” comes.
It is really amusing to listen to those people who believe their “truth” is the only reality that exists. And you can find examples everywhere and at all levels. From regular people to professors at prestigious universities throughout the world.
We all cling to our own particular “truth” and what others think Is just unfounded rubbish. Yes, I am sure you know many examples of this as well.
Some people say I have lost the joy of life because I do not argue with them any more, but I think I just got tired of enter endless discussions with no actual benefit but just a desperate battle to defend our concepts and ideas. Which most times, were planted by someone else and are not based on our own experience and reasoning.
So, instead of wasting time with the same old, same old. I am trying to focus my attention towards how to contribute in my little world to make it better someway.
Sometimes lessons arrive in a curious disguise and that happened to me the other day, when I met with this suicidal friend who was so disappointed with his life that the best thing he could think of, was taking his own life and ending all his suffering.
I was not the best person to give him advice at that moment but I was not the best suicide buddy either, so I proposed him that before he took that route out of his misery, we should find a way to make things better for others so they wouldn´t have to go through bad times as we had.
Of course my friend was “offended” with my proposal, because I was supposed to convince him to stop his suicidal ideas, but I just told him I was not in the mood to go through the typical “life is beautiful”, “don’t worry be happy” and “please do not kill yourself”. I told him that if he wanted to take his own life I would respect that, but… He should do something good for someone else before leaving.
He was outraged and felt I was the worst person on the planet, yes probably you are thinking the same right now, but I just couldn´t think something better at that moment.
I asked him if he could think something good to do for someone in need, but he just stared at me confused. I looked around and saw an old beggar in a park who was asking for money to eat.
I asked my friend to go and buy something for that man to eat and tell him he had no money to give him but he had food to share with him.
“Why don´t you do that yourself?” my friend told me angrily.
“Well, I am going to clean that bench over there for someone else who wants to come and sit there for a while, sorry but I cannot think of something better to do right now” So I approached the bench and began drying the raindrops away and cleaning the dirt and leaves on that old wooden bench.
He stayed for a while looking at me doing that apparently useless act but, actually I couldn´t find something better to do and I was not in the best mood to try to play Mr. Hero with my friend.
So he went to buy a sandwich and gave it to that man.
I am not sure what they talked about for a good while, since I was busy cleaning and making that bench comfy for someone else, but when my friend came back he looked totally different.
He had tears in his eyes and a big smile in his mouth, he just thanked me and left. I have no idea of how the conversation went with those two, but at least my friend was not trying to leave this world in that moment.
I had left the bench clean and dry and I was able to see a couple of elderly people who sat there and looked happy they had found a dry place to rest a little. I felt happy as well.
My friend is still alive so far and I am trying to find things to do every day to make this a better place to live our life. Yes, cleaning benches, raking leaves, watering plants in the park and stuff like that, I am not saving the world from catastrophe or doing more “important” things, but at least I have been able to see the little results in the faces of others.
And maybe tomorrow I´ll be able to find new ways to contribute to make this a happier place than it was yesterday for me and someone else, somewhere.
Thank you for your contribution too.