You define yourself

I remember one day when my daughter told me she was stupid.

I was very impressed by the way she said that. She was around 5 years old and after school she told me she was stupid in a very confident and serene voice. She was totally convinced that was a fact.

I asked her why she said that and, in the same tone, she answered: “My teacher told me I am stupid, my friends told me I am stupid, my cousins told me I am stupid therefore, I must be stupid”

“Did they tell you that today?” I asked.

“Yes, but they have told me that before, so I think they must be right” She answered with sadness.

I looked at her straight in her eyes and told her in a slow but firm voice: “People have the awful habit of using bad words to tag others, they sometimes do not mean it, sometimes they do that in a playful way, but they have no idea that subconscious mind cannot tell true from false.”

“Nobody has the power to define you. You define yourself.  Nobody knows you as you do, nobody can understand what is going on in your mind, in your life and in your heart.  Nobody has got the power to tell you what you are or are not. You are the only one who decide who you really are.”

I continued: “Dr. Wayne Dyer once said that “if it sounds natural to you, then it is your truth. Does it feel natural to you being intelligent? Beautiful? Healthy?”

She looked at me with her beautiful big eyes and nodded her head.

“Answer me please in a loud voice” I said.

“Yes!” She told me with a smile.

“Please, remember that nobody can define you, you define yourself. Period.”I said that to both of my daughters that day.

After that talk I have been trying to observe myself more carefully.  How many ideas about what I can or cannot do, have been influenced by the opinion of other people?  Have I allowed external views, ideas expectations and opinions to influence my personality? My achievements and failures? I am sure I have. We all have.

The real problem would be, if I continue allowing external factors to lead the direction of my life, the opinion about myself and my self-esteem.

You should not lie to yourself either. As I mentioned before, first of all, you need to learn and see yourself without tags and colours and accept your beautiful nature. You do not need to keep denying your flaws or try to convince other you are someone different.

Work on yourself and be the person you really are. You can achieve and be anything, but work on yourself. Do not pretend, do not try to fool yourself and others, they can see it clearly even if they do not tell you so and, even worse, your heart can see who you really are so, you cannot fool yourself.

One of the biggest pleasures in life is the flavour of achieving a long desired goal, what we have studied, worked and struggled for. You can do it but do not take the easy way, really earn what you get. If you do not like you story, begin telling yourself and to others a new one.

Anyone can say their own version of your personal history, but you are the only one who creates it every day.



11 thoughts on “You define yourself

  1. Thanks for taking the time to share what feels to me like rare perspective in these modern times. Don’t stop sharing the truths you perceive, they have an inate power for both you and the people who find and take the time to absorb them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The secret is to keep providing the messages as although they may seem to be not paying attention, it’s surprising how many do sink in deep down and are reflected back as they grow older.. x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Wendy! Yes sometimes I feel I am talking in the desert. And sometimes I tell them a thousand times something and they hear it somewhere else and they believe that is the first time they hear that. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh – I recognise that feeling! haha – they never believe what ‘mum and dad’ tell them! – even when they are 31 and 27!!


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