I was listening to a friend who vehemently expressed his ideas on politics. A group of people around him listened to his view with interest, but some of them did not agree with his ideas and they began to refute his points.
The whole thing became a mess while I sat there watching the theory of chaos developing right in front of my eyes.
The group then got divided in two sections (maybe more), one defending my friend’s opinions and the other aggressively attacking them.
I decided to keep my opinions to myself and remained in silence watching the furious debate and enjoying a cup of tea.
Suddenly my friend turned his head towards me asking for my “support” and opinion on “who was right or wrong”. I just smiled and told him I was not qualified to give my opinion or judgement on who was right or wrong this time.
They all looked at me as if I was the most ignorant person on the planet and continued their endless debate.
Of course, I had an opinion on that subject, I knew why I had that opinion and had studied the subject to a certain level, but…
First, I didn’t want to contradict my friend, he had his crowd and although I did not agree with his points of view I was not interested on making an issue on something that had no transcendence.
Neither my opinion nor anyone else’s would make any good, enhance or would change anything on the present state of things. I would only upset my friend as well as his group and I was not looking for a reason to argue about something we had not the power to change in that very moment.
I decided to keep my friendship with him intact, avoid conflicts and senseless arguing and, of course, keep my inner peace unbroken.
Yes, debates are good and even necessary to clarify ideas and make important changes in our lives and concepts. Through them we can discover new ideas and points of view that we ignored before. But there are times and places for that.
I have seen friends damage their relationships due to this kind of disagreements, they felt bad afterwards and said things that broke friendships and liaisons for a vain discussion on a coffee table.
I might sound apathetic or irresponsible to you for this attitude, but after all, if you are not going to create a real change on things, if you are not to contribute something creative or positive to the conversation, losing a friendship or crate a conflict just to show others how “wise” I am or how right I am” is not something I am interested in anymore.
Your ideas, opinions, concepts, etc., will depend on your knowledge, life experiences, perspectives, education and so on. So, you cannot expect others see things the same way you do.
Most times two opposing concepts could be applied to a situation at the same time, there exist a dichotomy in everything, there is always two different sides in a story. Each side is right and true, it all depends on the perspective of the person who exposes it.
But what’s more important? To be at peace or being right? That will also depend on what your actual need is now. Your privilege to decide.