We react too fast to external events nowadays. I am talking about the way we take other people’s words.
You are walking quietly dowd the stree, minding your own business and suddenly someone pops up at the corner and bumps into you. That person began screaming at you as if it was your fault for being in their way and began saying awful things about you. People look at the scene without giving it importance and following their way, but for you it was a very traumatic event.
You cannot understand why that person is in such a rage when you did not even crash against them in purpose.
But you had to listen a whole list of adverbs and probably you even learnt some new ones, without understanding the real reason for it.
Or someone you know has a very particular type of humour and suddenly say a joke about you that you take as an offence, but it was not their meaning.
Both cases are typical examples of situations we can face in our everyday life.
Probably you felt a little upset about something and you were oversensitive to any comments. That person arrived made a joke about yourself ( a joke that in a different day would not appear so offensive to you) and then you allow it to hurt your feelings.
Maybe that person who bumped into you was coming from a difficult situation and while they were trying to process that in their mind, you suddenly appear and then you become the target where they will pour all their resentment and frustration.
It was not really your fault, you did not have the intention to attack them in anyway, you were just there at the wrong time and in the wrong place, or probably not. Maybe you did help them to download all their anger and as soon as they leave the place they feel more relieved.
And that happens to all of us and on both sides. Maybe you were troubled about something and when your friend made a joke you took it as an aggression and things went the wrong way.
If we think that most times people are not really reacting towards us but just reacting to what they are holding in their hearts, then we would live in a much safer place.
You know who you are. You know your limitations as well as your power, it is time to stop defining yourself on what others say and think about you. No one else know what you had to go through to be where you are now. No one else can say what can you do or what you cannot.
Then you do not need anybody else’s opinion to determine the way you feel about you and your life.
Remember that whatever they say or do, have no effect on who you are. They are not really trying to hurt you, they are only saying in a loud voice how hurt they are inside them.
Do not take anything personal. Their world is not about you, but about how they choose to react. So it is yours.