The dichotomy of silence


When you see someone suffering, and there is nothing you can do to help them out of their misery, most times you will try to comfort them with consoling words.

In those cases, the right words are difficult to find, and many times we end up saying the wrong ones even when our intention was good.

We have talked many times about the advantages and blessings of silence, how important it is to keep quiet when there is risk to hurt someone else.

But as everything else in this Life, there are always two sides for everything and falling in its extremes is extremely easy.

Too much of anything can do a lot of harm.

Gossip can be very damaging, we all know that, but too much silence can be very destructive as well.

Keeping silence on certain things could bring you more problems than you might think.

Some secrets have destroyed powerful empires, and have killed more people than we can count.

Occasionally, we believe that keeping certain things as a secret could prevent us from hurting someone, but history and experience have taught us, that hiding information is one of the main causes for misunderstandings and tragic endings, too many divorces and crimes are due to not saying what it should be said at the right time.

The most devastating problems in any kind of relationships are caused by an excess of silence.

Lack of communication is the beginning of unsolvable situations, it is like a balloon, if you let It grow too much, it will explode, and then you will not be able to put it together again. And you know even if you could it will never be the same.


I have been a witness in many situations where silence was the key factor that triggered a whole havoc that ended up in a disaster.

Yes, Silence is gold, but too much gold can sink your boat anytime as well.

The main part of the lesson is: learning to discern when to speak and when to remain silent.

If what you are about to say could do more harm than good, then silence is your choice.

But never create a secret with the excuse of waiting for a better time to speak. Never assume that you know it will be a better time to say something that could be important for other people. Because that better time might never appear.

Do not keep a vital fact from anyone for any reason whatsoever, unless it is a life-and-death situation. Nothing haunts us like the things we keep unsaid.

Because once you allow a secret to grow, you create a monster that might someday lead you to your collapse.

Remember, Buddha always spoke about keeping on the Madhyamāpratipad (The middle path). Life is like piloting a plane , we need to correct our heading constantly, in order to get safely to our destination.

Learn to recognize the blessings of silence, as well as the might of your words, and use them wisely.

Who you get to be will depend on how you use both.

Choose wisely.


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