Have you ever fell down or felt sad or depressed after a difficult event and a close friend or family member slaps your back and asked to cheer up or just said: “Come on, get over it, just be happy”?
Then they recommended you a good book or a “guided meditation” so you could “get out of the hole” faster?
Of course you are trying to understand what happened, you are trying to heal your wounds and of course you wish you could go above to situation and feel good once more, but you have your own rhythm to do it, right?
I am not saying they are bad, insensitive, cold people, they surely love you and want you to be alright and on your feet once more very soon. They do not understand your inner needs and situation, so it is important for you to learn and defend your right to heal at your own speed.
There is nothing worse than having a bad experience, feeling bad and then someone comes and tells you: “oh come on, get over it! Be happy!” Yes, you just want to strangle them right away.
I wouldn’t advise you to do so, just take a deep breath and thank them for their concern, their intention is good, but their method is not. So do not blame them, you have probably done the same thing without noticing it to someone else, so just be grateful for their kindness and, work on your recovery at your own pace.
We have different levels of resistance, different strengths, pain thresholds and so forth. We are individuals, so we cannot expect other people to react in the same way we do. Nevertheless, we usually expect them to do so.
We all have our own speeds: to speak, to walk, to learn, to think, to respond, and so on.
And as a part of our own nature, we have the right to defend it and expect the others to respect it.
So learn to take your time and go through your own processes at your own pace.
And keep in mind that the other people have their own rhythm as well before you try to evangelise them or put them on their feet again.
When you have learnt to respect your own timing, the others will begin to respect it as well.
Taken from my book Continuum