We are hearing very often about detachment lately. Detachment to material things, to places, to people etc.
For most people, it is easier to detach themselves from individuals, food or places than to be the “victim” of the detachment.
You can train your mind to separate from a place, from a certain food or habit. A little more difficult for many is to “avoid” toxic people who are not helping us with our growth process.
Especially when the other people feel you are avoiding them for the wrong reasons. They might think that you are getting too “picky” or that you are being too selfish or that you simply do not care anymore for them.
But please do not fall into that game this time.
You are not being arrogant, selfish or insensitive. You are learning to take care of yourself and to focus your attention on your own development and growth.
Once you learn to detach yourself from judging others, from telling them what to do or how to do it, and even from trying to “save” them, you will have more time to work on yourself.
So, do not feel bad if suddenly you begin asking yourself what is it that you need to be happier, to be stronger and feel more accomplished in your life.
Allow the others learn their own lessons, help them learn to take responsibility of their own acts, do not judge them, rescue them or criticise them. Be a better person yourself and then, you´ll be able to teach them by your example.
That way, they will not have elements to say you are just trying to manipulate them or to order them what to do.
I am not saying that you should abandon them completely, ignore them all the time or to stop asking them how they are doing. I am just saying that you should take your attention off their lives and focus it on yours at this moment.
Once you feel more comfortable with your own being, the others will notice it and learn from you in a more effective way.
Search to be more congruent with what you say and who you really are, how you behave and how you treat others.
Once you focus more your attention on enhancing yourself, you will not have time to condemn others.
Let them call you selfish, anti-social, renegade or any other appellatives they wish. Take time for yourself and later, they will be happy you did. Once they notice the improvements in you, they will be glad and will benefit from them as well.
So, give yourself the care and love you deserve right now and learn to detach! After all is not a permanent state.
From my book: Timeless