There is nothing more difficult than trying to talk with someone who is angry. You ask them to listen to what you have to say, but their anger do not let them listen, really listen, they actually are not really interested in what you have to say, all they want to do is to take that awful feeling out of their system.
Even if they let you speak for a few seconds, they will immediately start talking back to you, they won’t listen to your reasons because they won’t keep that anger inside and need to get it out of them. Even if you are right they cannot see it.
There is no point to talk with someone who is blinded by their bad temper and, who in the same way as an ill person does, is looking at the world through their toxins.
I have got a friend who is very impatient and every time you talk to him and you are trying to finish a sentence he keeps saying the first word that comes to his mind, maybe to help you to finish it faster. Sometimes is the word you were about to say but most times is the wrong word.
People usually look at him with anger and probably they think something like: “Thank you, but I do not need you to help me talk, now if you let me continue…” He realises you are not very happy with his interrupting and keeps silent for a few seconds and two or three sentences later he begins to interrupt again.
Needless to say, if you are not perfectly focused on what you are saying, all his interruptions make your mind drift away from the main subject and you end up talking about a totally different thing. Continue reading →
I was observing an elderly man in the underground station who seem to be very upset, walking from one side to the other and talking to himself all the time.
A group of students were playing, shouting, and pushing one another near this man. Suddenly one of the students tripped and fell right in front of that man, making him fall, the old man obviously got really mad, yelling and accusing the young guy of attacking him. But the student instead of apologising and helping the old man to get on his feet again, he began answering back to him calling him blind and useless.
The elderly man of course, got even more furious and stood up trying to punch the student, most people saw the scene from this point since all the shouting had attracted their attention until that moment, but they didn’t see the beginning of the incident.
So when they saw a grown up man trying to hit a young lad, they began attacking him and this incident turned into a whole mess. Continue reading →
Few years ago I was imparting a self-defence class in a community centre for women (most of them were rape victims). I was talking about the importance of quickly neutralising the opponent to allow them to escape as soon as possible and/or ask for help depending on the circumstances.
In order to show a technique to keep a stranger at a certain distance and defend themselves from an attack, I asked a tinny woman to help me demonstrate the technique to the other students.
At first, she hesitated and timidly approached. She didn’t dare to look at me and kept her eyes all the time on the floor. Continue reading →
I know you have heard many times that we are all different. No matter how long we have lived in the same community, in the same house and even in the same family. We have a lot in common and yet, we are still different.
You might like to add sugar in your tea, I prefer a little more cream in it instead. You might prefer a bagel with it, I prefer a ring doughnut. You might like to talk about politics, I rather skip that subject.
We can be so different in so many aspects and yet, we can share a nice tea moment, each enjoying, at the same time, our own personal pleasures. Continue reading →
In almost every ancient tradition the role of the teacher is always mentioned with respect and reverence. At least when I was a little child we used to respect and give a very special place to our teachers, I cannot say the same is happening now, since the lack of respect for our teachers and elders will take us to bigger problems we cannot yet see clearly but we should do something about it before is too late.
But once you leave the school and begin your journey in this life, new kinds of teachers appear in different times and places just to remind you the things you already knew but keep forgetting to apply in your daily practice, or to teach you about new perspectives and methods that could help you to be a better you. For you and the rest of the planet. Continue reading →
She saw me walking on the street and greeted me very effusively. “I wanted to so much to see you! I finally finished your book and I loved it! I am going to read it again!”
“But the problem is that I want to be able to do the things you talk about in the book, but I don’t think is as easy as it sounds” She complained.
I thanked her for reading one of my books and just told her: “I never said it was easy, nothing in that book is really easy. It is a process, everything worth it takes time. I am just sharing in my books my experiences and own ideas, but my main purpose is to encourage my readers to find their own answers and methods. We are all different and have different circumstances going on in our lives, but we are all in the same boat, so we can find common mind-sets and procedures to have a happy journey.” Was my reply. Continue reading →
I have heard lately many people talking about forgiving others. I have been questioned many times about how I could forgive betrayal and lies so easily.
The truth is, I forgive myself first. I am conscious that I have allowed those people to hurt me in the first place. I have gave them the power to do so. I have released my power and then, the harm is done.