Compare yourself

 

They say that one of the main causes of unhappiness nowadays is when people begin to judge the life of those around them and compare it with their own.

They begin to compare their life, possessions, “successes and failures”, health and so on and so forth, and immediately gloom installs in their inner system.

A friend of mine who used to be a very well-known actor told me once that he was surprised with the opinion of other people about what his life was.  They thought he lived a very glamorous and enviable life. Continue reading

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Contrasting

 

I was not aware of the root of his anger.  He had always been a very nice person, always smiling and joking with everyone around him.

They had been friends since their early childhood. They had been together in many battles and in many celebrations as well.

But then one day his friend left the country to begin his quest to find his “real self”. Many new paths and experiences awaited him ahead.

They lost contact for many years until, one day, he returned home. Continue reading

Looking back

At first, mowing the lawn didn’t seem so complicated. I saw my neighbours do it all the time and they looked so unconcerned about the way they did it, I always thought there was no complication in the process.

But this time I was going to learn a very important lesson.

I was 7 years old and not very interested in learning about gardening and its technical hitches.  But I was visiting a friend in his house and I must admit I was impressed by his garden.  Everything looked so perfect and beautiful!

His father asked me if I could give him a hand by mowing the lawn with an old manual lawnmower. I didn’t see any problem with that, it looked very easy to do, so I began the task with the excitement of trying a new thing. Continue reading

Severe judge

I was watching a video of my daughter dancing, in my opinion, (and I must say that I am not the typical father who sees everything his children do as marvellous and perfect), she did a very good job, but for her, she danced terribly, I tried to see the terrible parts in it, to comment with her what should be improved, but it was not as bad as she saw herself.

That reminded me when I was her age I used to see the videos of my tournaments and I was extremely critic of myself. My teachers were happy with my improvements, but to my eyes I was really lousy and clumsy in my movements. Maybe it was the little critic we all have inside? Continue reading

The evidence

It is strange how good we are to find all the reasons why we won’t be able to achieve certain goal, or why we are not good enough to reach a certain level of success, or even worst, why we don’t deserve to be happy, healthy, wealthy, etc.

In part, is the general programming we all receive, the way we compare ourselves with the false images we see in others and the harmful fake modesty that leads us to a low esteem. Continue reading

Belittling your suffering

I was feeling a little down for things didn’t go the way I was expecting them, I was failing to search for the lesson I needed to learn this time and maybe, just maybe looking for some sympathy and “understanding” (yes, receiving some pats on the back).

But instead of that, she began laughing at my problems. She began telling me about all her family and economic problems that of course “were many times worst” than mine.  Or at least that is what she thought. Continue reading

Allow yourself to experience joy

You might be thinking that this is a misspelled sentence, but no, actually there are many people who don’t allow themselves to experience joy and happiness in many ways. And no they are not masochists, at least most of them are not.

I am not the party type, I am even not very social, funny thing to say about someone who spends time lecturing and teaching courses but it´s true.

I can be very comfortable lecturing in a room with 3500 people but when I am in a reunion with more than 20 people I usually prefer to leave early.

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