The pain in change

Have you noticed that when facing new circumstances, new situations like a new job, moving to a new house, a new relationship, etc. We react in many different ways?

Fear is the first feeling to jump into our heart. And sometimes that fear is the main reason because we reject change so much.

And it is understandable since change could be a very traumatic experience at first.

I remember when I was a child to be afraid of jumping into a swimming pool because my memory of the first contact with water at a different temperature was not very enjoyable.  It took me a long time to slowly crawl into the pool and it was not a very pleasant event.

Of course once this “traumatic” experience was passed it was almost impossible to take me out of the pool, but to “convince” me to dive into it first thing in the morning was a very difficult task. Continue reading

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Try it first! (mental note)

A bad habit I have been trying to get rid of, but I still keep hidden somewhere deep in my subconscious mind is judging something before even try it.

Many times I have seen new and strange food in my travels and immediately, even before checking its smell, labelled it as: Not good.

For instance, once it happened to me with a thick corn made tortilla-like dish from El Salvador, very popular in that country. They stuff it with cheese, beans or meat and add some tomato sauce, cabbage, relish etc.

The aspect was not that “appealing” to me in the beginning and immediately I refused to try it. But after the insistence of some local friends I reluctantly accepted to try “one little bite”. Continue reading

The best I ever had

Why is it that when somebody dies he or she becomes the best person on the planet?

Why after a love is gone, we realise after a while, that he/she was the “love of our life”?

Why do we have to face loss, in order to find the good aspects of people, places and things?

And you can apply that to practically everything with the exception of abusive people and bad situations. But even in those cases I have seen people who, when an abusive person who made their life a real hell, dies. They begin to find the “good” in them.  Sometimes an excess of dependency? An addiction to old beliefs? Whatever… Continue reading

A hard soul to grasp

One of the most difficult things I have faced, is when I have tried to apply my own theory in my own life.

We think we are so “prepared” and “wise”, that we can give counsel to everyone who come and tell us their problems.  But if we are the ones in that situation, applying the same “advices” to our own particular case, it is not as easy to follow as when we tell others what to do with their lives to reach happiness and success.

But what if you pretend for a while that you are an external “adviser” when you are in trouble or in doubt? What would you tell somebody else? Would you follow that advice? Can you “walk your talk”? Continue reading

You are on your own

I was surprised to listen to her saying that they shouldn´t be together because they didn’t bring the best in each other. And I was surprised because I have heard that even from marriage counsellors, psychologists, doctors, lawyers and many other people who are supposed to be a little more knowledgeable.

Maybe that is why so many relationships have been and still are nowadays, doomed to fail.

You are responsible of your life, you are responsible to shine with your own light regardless of who you are with or what is going on around you.  You don’t depend on anyone else for that, you don’t need their permission, guidance nor anything else to be yourself. Please do not think that you need to “adjust” your personal brightness level to match the person beside you.  You NEED TO BE YOU.  You MUST be yourself.

If you find someone to love then fine, you are lucky. If you haven’t yet found someone to love then they will soon come, but NEVER, please never expect someone else to bring out the best in you.  That is your own job.  And never blame anyone else for not being the best version of yourself.

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The wall

We have all met a dead end in our paths. We are suddenly walking freely with no obstacles on our way when after the first turn we find a dead end, a big wall right in front of us that makes us stop in an abrupt manner.

Then we need to decide what to do next. Stay there looking at the wall trying to figure out some way to climb it, go through it, under it or whatever other option we might find. Or we can just turn around and search for a new path to continue our journey. Continue reading

Looking at the future

When we look at the night sky we are actually seeing the past, not the actual present. All those starts and planets are very far away and even light has to travel through the space to reach us.  So the lights we observe at night are just old messengers that left their destiny a long time ago and now all we are watching is the arrival of that “message” to our home planet.

So maybe some of those stars no longer exist, and what we see is a ghost light letting us know that once upon a time, a sun like ours was positioned in the direction we are looking at right now. Continue reading

One more step

There is nothing better than accomplishing our own goals or watching someone else who has earned his/her way to the top.

We all have stories in our own life when we reached some difficult goal just a few instants before quitting. Thanks to that last step(s) we decide to take at that time, we now know what the taste of achieving is like.

Sometimes we complain because some event or set of events take us out of our routine.  The life as we knew it is over and we need to pick up our pieces and restart a new path. Continue reading