For many years I believed in the standard model of happiness, you know, what everybody tells you that you need to have, wear and live to be a real happy person.
Of course, I was never able to reach those standards, therefore I believed I was not a good person.
If I was not able to accomplish all those requirements, then I should be a loser. After all I was able to see many achievers around me. And if I was the only one who was living in mediocrity then something should be wrong with me.
Those where very difficult years for me.
I couldn’t understand quite well, how was it possible that many of my friends and acquaintances were leaving a perfect life, while I was really struggling to keep my pieces together. Continue reading →
At first, mowing the lawn didn’t seem so complicated. I saw my neighbours do it all the time and they looked so unconcerned about the way they did it, I always thought there was no complication in the process.
But this time I was going to learn a very important lesson.
I was 7 years old and not very interested in learning about gardening and its technical hitches. But I was visiting a friend in his house and I must admit I was impressed by his garden. Everything looked so perfect and beautiful!
His father asked me if I could give him a hand by mowing the lawn with an old manual lawnmower. I didn’t see any problem with that, it looked very easy to do, so I began the task with the excitement of trying a new thing. Continue reading →
The more you advance in life, the more you realise that your reality has more to do with yourself than with external elements.
We are taught to avoid selfish attitudes and to pay attention on the opinion of the rest of the world, before considering our own.
You try sometimes to be good to other people, specially your loved ones, but time teaches you that you cannot make them love you, as you love them, you cannot expect them to be as good and loyal to you, as you are to them. You cannot force them to see life as you do, because they have their own view of the world, they have their own needs and they experience a different life with different perspectives and ideas, even if they spend all the time near you. Continue reading →
They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, nevertheless many authors (published or indie) struggle to design the best cover for their books. They know a cover will attract customers and “encourage” them to buy their books.
We do the same with humans. We know we shouldn’t judge them by their physical appearance yet, hard habits die hard and we still judge people by their “cover”.
A few days ago I cut my chin while shaving. The cut left an ugly scar that was easily seen by a distance. Of course that made me very self-conscious of my appearance and I think everybody notice my insecurity, despite my efforts to look confident. I don’t know maybe it was just my appreciation. Continue reading →
I was watching a video of my daughter dancing, in my opinion, (and I must say that I am not the typical father who sees everything his children do as marvellous and perfect), she did a very good job, but for her, she danced terribly, I tried to see the terrible parts in it, to comment with her what should be improved, but it was not as bad as she saw herself.
That reminded me when I was her age I used to see the videos of my tournaments and I was extremely critic of myself. My teachers were happy with my improvements, but to my eyes I was really lousy and clumsy in my movements. Maybe it was the little critic we all have inside? Continue reading →
I remember how funny it was for me to play with my echo when my mother took me to an old chapel where you could speak in low voice in a corner and other person could listen to what you said on the other. The effect was amazing, I was about 4-5 years old, and actually thought there was some kind of “connection” there so that phenomena was possible.
I think we all have played with an echo, shouting in a cave or geodesic chamber is a fun and amazing experience, especially for children, they don’t care if other people look at them in a funny way, actually I don’t either now. But this is an enlightenment exercise as well. Continue reading →
Few years ago he began typing his thoughts in his laptop where he kept them hidden from the world. He was just trying to put his ideas in order and writing was a wonderful way to put some order in his chaotic mind.
Besides he didn’t need to watch his “style” or “spelling”, he was writing to himself. So that would give him even more freedom to write his thoughts without the fear to be judged or not liked. Continue reading →
We have been told all our lives that we should be ourselves.
“Be yourself” we can read in many texts throughout history. But the main problem is that they never taught us how.
Especially nowadays when all media are telling us what to wear, what to buy, how to behave, what’s the trend for next autumn, what are the best devices to use and what vocabulary should we use for communicating with others. Continue reading →
You don’t need to push other people to keep your own pace. Every person has his/her own timing and we cannot judge others just because they are doing things differently than ourselves.
We tend to judge everything from our own standards that is natural. But expecting that the whole world will be as “good” as we are, or that they will react, think and feel the same way as we do, is one of the main causes for our inner conflicts. Continue reading →