Fall in love

 

I have seen an increase on those internet sites that promise to help you meet the love of your life and put you in contact with people you can fall in love with.

Some, promise you to introduce you to single people in your area, other sites promise to help you meet people for a relationship, regardless of their marital status, or yours.

Most of these sites have sections where you can learn to interact with your prospects and offer all kind of advices on how to start a conversation, how to dress properly for the first date, how to control your body language so you can convey the right message and the do’s and don´ts when you are meeting others for the first time.

Many of this “guides” teach you how to conceal your defects, how to show off your “qualities”, how to look as a “good catch” for the other person and how to leave a good impression after the first date, so you can take the next step into the relationship.

Most of these manuals never tell you how to be more authentic, so others see the real you from the beginning though.

I would like to find in those sites more manuals, where they teach you how to fall in love with the only person who will really be with you till the end of your days: Yourself.

The world is trying to mould you to be liked the rest, they tell you what you need to change, what you must cover and pretend, so you might fit into the standards needed to be considered an adequate person.

But why is it, that they never tell you that you are already perfect, that you can be liked, accepted and loved just the way you are. Why nobody is telling you that you have no need to hide, pretend or change anything, so you can be liked and shine with your own light?

How could anybody else fall in love with you when you keep telling yourself that you are not worthy, not perfect, not beautiful enough.

How could anybody be attracted to someone who is looking at the bad side of everything in themselves? Continue reading

Advertisements

Detach!

 

We are hearing very often about detachment lately. Detachment to material things, to places, to people etc.

For most people, it is easier to detach themselves from individuals, food or places than to be the “victim” of the detachment.

You can train your mind to separate from a place, from a certain food or habit.  A little more difficult for many is to “avoid” toxic people who are not helping us with our growth process.

Especially when the other people feel you are avoiding them for the wrong reasons. They might think that you are getting too “picky” or that you are being too selfish or that you simply do not care anymore for them.

But please do not fall into that game this time. Continue reading

Imperfect

A good friend of mine was born with a strange condition that affected his body. He was very tall and his head and hands were bigger in proportion to the rest of his body.

He had suffered very much during his childhood because the other children mocked him and called him names that hurt his soul deeply.

He had to get used to the way people stared at him on the street and to the impertinent questions of those with no manners whatsoever, who never touched their hearts before making harsh remarks about his looks.

Anyway, he has got a wonderful personality.  He is very kind and compassionate with every living being.  He pursued a career in acting and due to his image, he got important roles in international movies. Continue reading

This was not my plan

When I was a child, I had a very different idea of what my life would be.

I wanted to be an astronaut, an explorer, a fireman, a superhero, an engineer. Well from all these options, I only became the latter.

The truth is I never dreamt of travelling the world, meeting very interesting people from different backgrounds and being who I am today.

I am not judging here, whether it was good or bad to be who I am today; I just know it was the best option for me.

Of course I didn’t accomplish all the things I wanted, at least not yet, you never know what is coming next. But looking in retrospective, I have accomplished many things I never thought possible. Continue reading

Reference points

It is very difficult to understand many concepts or even know where you are located right now without a reference point, which is a mark that allows you to compare or locate your position relative to external elements.

Our brain is a super computer that keeps comparing and evaluating everything around us all the time. Besides all the other things the brain has to do to keep us alive. So we actually are not aware of all the impressive processes our brain has to perform 24/7.

But as ironic as it sounds, Life gives us strange ways sometimes for us to compare and set new reference points in and learn our lessons, many times the hard way.

Sometimes you get tired of your own town, city, country, etc. So you decide to travel. Then you see new things, you meet new people with new customs, you try new food and so on. After a while, you begin to compare those new experiences with your home and then you begin to feel nostalgic and begin feeling the wish to go back. Continue reading

Opposites

Why do bad things have to exist? If God is so “good” as they say, then why he allows the bad and the ugly to exist?

These are common questions we all hear all the time.

And have you ever imagined a world without opposites?

It could not exist at all actually.

We need a point of comparison to be able to “measure” things. How would you know if something is cold if there was not hot? Silly example I know I am just trying to make my point here. Continue reading

The best I ever had

Why is it that when somebody dies he or she becomes the best person on the planet?

Why after a love is gone, we realise after a while, that he/she was the “love of our life”?

Why do we have to face loss, in order to find the good aspects of people, places and things?

And you can apply that to practically everything with the exception of abusive people and bad situations. But even in those cases I have seen people who, when an abusive person who made their life a real hell, dies. They begin to find the “good” in them.  Sometimes an excess of dependency? An addiction to old beliefs? Whatever… Continue reading

Do not cheat anymore

After listening to some friends talking about their bitter experiences in the relationship world, followed by a thousand complains about their significant other’s behaviour. I remained silent.

Men say women nowadays cheat the most and so say women about men, but if you analyse this, there is a deeper concern that is usually overlooked in these cases.

They say that if you do not love yourself, then you cannot love anybody else. So in the same note, if you cheat on yourself, therefore you are more likely to cheat on anybody else.

My friends (females and males) complain about the lack of interest showed by their partners. But on the other side, none of them is showing any interest on themselves either.  Continue reading

Self-love

I grew up in a time when self-love was something bad, a sin.

It was wrongly labelled as egoism and many people tried to avoid it like the plague.

That avoidance had been the cause of many common problems we have to deal with nowadays.

“Do not think about yourself first”, “Being egotistical will send you straight to hell”, “If you weren´t so self-centred, this wouldn´t have happened to you”, “Nobody will love you if you don´t stop caring only about yourself”. These were common phrases I heard as I grew up. (Actually it wasn´t that long ago, I am talking of only two decades more or less) Continue reading

Contribute

People are nowadays living as fast as they can. It seems like a speed contest to see who the first to reach the highest level of stress is, in the shortest time possible.

They tell us to be passionate about our work, our activities and relationships, passionate about living our life to the fullest. That is brilliant, but I am seeing people who in order to feel they are passionate about their lives are entering a self-centred world of their own.

We do not need to be so radical about our actions.  We can be passionate and at the same time share that passion with others. Continue reading