We are hearing very often about detachment lately. Detachment to material things, to places, to people etc.
For most people, it is easier to detach themselves from individuals, food or places than to be the “victim” of the detachment.
You can train your mind to separate from a place, from a certain food or habit. A little more difficult for many is to “avoid” toxic people who are not helping us with our growth process.
Especially when the other people feel you are avoiding them for the wrong reasons. They might think that you are getting too “picky” or that you are being too selfish or that you simply do not care anymore for them.
I was listening to a friend who vehemently expressed his ideas on politics. A group of people around him listened to his view with interest, but some of them did not agree with his ideas and they began to refute his points.
The whole thing became a mess while I sat there watching the theory of chaos developing right in front of my eyes.
The group then got divided in two sections (maybe more), one defending my friend’s opinions and the other aggressively attacking them.
I decided to keep my opinions to myself and remained in silence watching the furious debate and enjoying a cup of tea. Continue reading →
I was standing in the middle of the gym with all my classmates staring at me amusingly watching my intents to defend myself against my opponent.
I was the smallest bloke in the class, in age and size, but at that time I was not very interested in their opinion about me.
I loved martial arts and despite of my efforts, the combat ended up really bad for me.
But in that particular moment, for some reason that was irrelevant to me and after that humiliating exercise, my teacher made a long list of all the appalling mistakes I made that time. Actually I made all the known and unknown faults listed in the manual. But I was so focused on my passion for training that it didn’t sound intimidating or discouraging to me. Continue reading →
For some reason, I always had a negative neuronal connection linked to that expression. And when I heard a person saying it, but referring to a positive event, my mind entered in shock.
My inner logic could not understand that it could be used to describe a positive situation.
I have a dim child memory of people using it constantly to describe tragic events in their life. I cannot remember someone in particular or the situations, but I believe it was then, when I made that neuronal link with a negative connotation.
When I heard those words used in an opposite context, my mind had to rethink the meaning of the phrase and then made an adjustment in my brain to place it in a new “storage position” so I could accept the real meaning. Continue reading →
You have done your best to be kind, generous, friendly and understanding towards others. You consider yourself a peaceful, relaxed and easy to talk to kind of person. You work on your inner self constantly and take care of your own body as well as you can.
Nevertheless, the people you care the most, keep misunderstanding your words, intentions and actions.
What then, are you doing wrong?
Probably nothing. You are not doing things wrong in purpose. Maybe the only problem you are causing yourself, is worrying too much for what others think about you.
You have no need to care too much for the opinion of others about yourself. As long as you are happy with what you are doing, with the way you are living your life, by reaching your goals and if you are not hurting anyone in the process, it is almost certain that you are not doing anything wrong to them. Continue reading →
We all need to accept the fact that each one of us is responsible for our own results. Good or bad. And that we should not give any one else that power either.
I was talking to a friend of mine who decided to leave her country to live with indigenous communities in the jungle. She goes to different zones in south america to carry food, medicine and teach people in remote towns to read and write. Among other things.
She is very happy doing what she loves but, lately she has been going through a series of bad moments because her mother died recently and she now feels that she was very selfish due to her passion for travel and leaving her mother and family behind. Continue reading →
I was feeling happy that morning. I was actually enjoying that feeling of “Nothing is wrong in the world” when suddenly the left hemisphere of my brain began asking the right hemisphere what was he so happy about?
Maybe this unusual state of happiness was too suspicious for that side of the brain that is always analysing and questioning everything all the time.
So, of course he managed to find more than one “reason” to stop that “excess of happiness” and dedicate time to processing more “useful” and worrisome information.
So my mind began making a list of all those things in my past that were unfinished, unclear and unfair to my eyes so I could go back to the regular uneasiness pattern, more natural and popular these days in this world. Continue reading →
My Japanese friend was very upset and she asked me to listen to her (online) for a while about an incident she had with an old man the day before. She was very distressed.
Being a westerner, my mind flew too high and what at first I thought it was something more severe, luckily it happened to be, (and I am happy it was so) more of a generational conflict than a physical aggression.
He was a Japanese man who was born before Wold War II, he was amazed by the way young people nowadays are living an easier life with much more opportunities and comfort than he had in his time. Continue reading →
“I am very good at solving everybody´s problems, I always find different options for others to follow, but I don´t understand what happens when I try to find my own solution, my mind gets blurry and I cannot think straight.” An old friend was telling me the other day.
“Maybe you are taking your own problems too “seriously” or to “viscerally” and that emotional charge is impeding you to see things clearly” I answered while understanding perfectly what he was talking about and feeling the guilt of having been there too many times already.
He looked at me with an astonished look on his eyes and quickly answered: “I am trying to be logical, I am looking at things as they are.”
“No, you are looking at the things as you are now. You are interpreting them through your own particular filters, that´s it.” I said closing my mouth really hard in order to keep more words from coming out from it. Continue reading →