Tired

 

I have tried to sleep more hours to see if my weariness would fade away. But I kept feeling tired, with no energy whatsoever.  When your inner self is tired, all the physical rest and sleeping will not make a difference.

There are days when you wake up and life hurts, therefore you resent it and will reflect it in your physical body.  And of course it will take you longer to stand on your feet, but any way you have to do it.

You see, it is easier for our brain to recall bad memories.  We usually remember more the bad events than the good ones, so we keep them in the first row of our conscious mind and that could be one of the main reasons why we keep repeating our mistakes and manifesting our worst fears faster.

Today it was one of those days for me, so instead of fighting it, I decided to watch it as neutral as I could. That is, I did not allow the bad memories to inundate my heart and ruin my day.

Yes, it was difficult to accomplish, but I finally made it.

Observing my “inner drama” from the “outside” was rather funny than depressing.  Every thought, every memory, every reaction was “perceived” as if I was an external observer. I talked to myself as if I was talking to a client.  And yes, giving advice to another person is easier, since you are not “inside” the situation, but I tried to do that the whole day and I must confess that it was a very interesting experiment.

Asking myself to search for the lesson hidden in my “tragedy” was fascinating. I had to try to be patient with those things that bothered me, I had to forgive those people in my past who made some “apparent harm” to me, (harm that later turned out to be a blessing).

I had to try and get my power back from those things and people I gave power in the past without even knowing it. I had to remember and try loving those things I hated and feared and of course, by the end of the day I was really exhausted with all this activity.

But it was not all stress and resistance against the current. Pretending to be an external observer was a very insightful experiment which taught me many things about myself and brought up many details from my inner self that I was not aware that still dwelt in my soul.

This is, of course, not an easy task, but definitely worth trying.

Sometimes your soul gets as tired as your body. When you are physically tired you lay down and rest. When your soul gets tired, relax and have fun.

It sounds simple.

It is.

Taken from my book;  Awakening III